Over time a lot of things in me have changed. I've become analytical, of myself and others; something that i hardly used to do before; I size people up these days after i've met them, and usually am not very wrong about them; I've become intuitive, about people about things; again something that has grown with time. A particular friend of mine, if she were reading this, would have a proud mother's grin on her face now. However the grin i know would not last if sh continues reading.
Inspite of having developed these insights i still feel i'm very gullible. Very easy to influence. Someone a long time back had conveniently termed it as 'adaptable'. If the then me, had not fully understood the connotations of being adaptable, standing here where i do today i think i understand the word a little more. A lill older i am today! And while it is an absolute pleasure to tell yourself that you are/were right, no one likes being left feeling like a fool, knowing that you knew better. I certainly dont.
I realize that i need to put my foot down more often when there are things i dont agree to. The inane problem here is, that while at first i do, but if someone convinces me well enough of otherwise it does not take much for me to change my opinion. Possibly because i've for the longest time not relied on my instinct. Forget relying, i've not had a clear gut instinct. But now, that i'm a lill more aware i would like to chose otherwise. I'm penning this down so that each time i'm about to get moulded and carried away, i can come back to this post, shake myself and wake up and smell the coffee.
This is the last time i'm doing something inspite of the nibbling feeling that i know better. I will see how this spans out. People make new year resolutions; as this eventful 2011 comes to an end i'm making myself a year-end resolution: Never Again Against My Better Judgement.
We will still keep walking; this time only with firmer steps! I am Me, and i'm the only one for myself! And we shall always be!
Inspite of having developed these insights i still feel i'm very gullible. Very easy to influence. Someone a long time back had conveniently termed it as 'adaptable'. If the then me, had not fully understood the connotations of being adaptable, standing here where i do today i think i understand the word a little more. A lill older i am today! And while it is an absolute pleasure to tell yourself that you are/were right, no one likes being left feeling like a fool, knowing that you knew better. I certainly dont.
I realize that i need to put my foot down more often when there are things i dont agree to. The inane problem here is, that while at first i do, but if someone convinces me well enough of otherwise it does not take much for me to change my opinion. Possibly because i've for the longest time not relied on my instinct. Forget relying, i've not had a clear gut instinct. But now, that i'm a lill more aware i would like to chose otherwise. I'm penning this down so that each time i'm about to get moulded and carried away, i can come back to this post, shake myself and wake up and smell the coffee.
This is the last time i'm doing something inspite of the nibbling feeling that i know better. I will see how this spans out. People make new year resolutions; as this eventful 2011 comes to an end i'm making myself a year-end resolution: Never Again Against My Better Judgement.
We will still keep walking; this time only with firmer steps! I am Me, and i'm the only one for myself! And we shall always be!
Contrary to belief, instincts come with experience. And it's tough not to second-guess oneself... Even I haven't managed to master it yet!
ReplyDeleteSecond guessing is curiosity my friend, second nature...however when you are almost sure of something that you don't want to do, you mostly shouldn't!
DeleteYou really need to wake up and smell the coffee! :|